Good Neighbour

 Jan is a single mum who works hard to provide her family the very best.  She works two jobs just to make ends meet and each night when she finally hops into bed, she is exhausted from her long day. Without little support from friends or family she finds it difficult to tackle the gardens and for months they have fallen behind. The lawns are well overgrown and the gardens resemble that of a jungle.

Kerri and Rick are excited because they finally were able to find a house rental after months of filling in rental applications. Unfortunately their bond was so high for the rental, they are unable to afford any groceries for the next week.  The house they found is an old drafty house but they were relieved to know that they would have a warm fireplace to help take the chill off. After some investigating they realise they have left firewood too late and cannot afford to buy wood. Winter is fast approaching and their youngest son has asthma - not having a warm house could seriously impact his health. 

Kylie and John, after years of hard work have finally been able to retire!  Unfortunately due to the increase in the housing market and their low paying pension, they were only able to afford a small house with virtually no yard.  Kylie is so disappointed because she loves gardening and had counted on a veggie garden to help keep down the grocery expenses each week. 

Each day across New Zealand there are people like Jan, Kerri and Rick and Kylie and John.  Many people have struggles that we take for granted or don't even think about.  In 2011 a few mates went to Fiji and were inspired to see how the power of community could cause change in such a limited time. Realising the power of this community, they sought to bring this vision back to New Zealand and from this Good Neighbour was formed.  The goal was to make positive change in the Neighbourhoods in New Zealand.  Every day, Good Neighbour is helping people like the stories mentioned above and is making a positive, growing influence in our communities.  

From the time that Good Neighbour has started, I have been blown away at the response I have seen by people all over, wanting to make a difference in their communities and help out a neighbour in need.  I think deep down, people want to help those who are struggling but really don't know how or where to start. Good Neighbour provides just that avenue.  

Good Neighbour have 3 main focuses: Neighbourhood Projects, Food Rescue and Community Gardens. This past weekend, Welcome Bay opened its first Community Garden to the public and I had the honour of making a cake for this event.  

To learn more about what they do and how you can help, you can go to their website: http://www.goodneighbour.co.nz/

To My Grandpa

He was born on a farm in Climax Minnesota on October 1, 1928.  Born a "blue baby" he was placed in the warming drawer of a big old wooden stove to keep warm.  They named him Wallace Gronberg, a fine name for a descendant of the great Vikings that set sail from Norway many years earlier.   

  

Wally fondly recalls his memories of his life on the farm, living with his 3 older sisters, older brother, mother, father and his two grandmothers.  Life was simpler then and it was a happy time for him.

At the age of 16 he developed Rheumatic Fever which damaged two valves in his heart.  This illness forced him to miss a year of school and he had to graduate a year behind the rest of his classmates.    The damage to his heart would later prevent him from fighting in World War II.  No one really ever knew how he felt about not being able to fight in the War but sometimes I wonder if it was a blessing for this man who has such a gentle, loving spirit.

My first memory of my Grandpa was fishing with him out on the dock at the cabin on the lake in Northern Minnesota.  I must have been a pretty good fisher girl because I caught a "big one!" So big, it pulled me in.  Grandpa (who I am told can't swim!) had to jump in and save me.  He was my hero that day.  Not because he saved me, but because he saved my fish too!  I was the proudest little girl at dinner that night, sharing what me and Grandpa caught.  

Grandpa had the greatest greeting of anyone I have ever known.  We would all anticipate our meeting with him with great excitement. When we finally got to see him after months of being apart, he would bend his legs slightly, open his arms as wide as he could and in a loud voice say "Lisa, HONEY!" In that moment, you felt more welcomed and loved then you have ever felt with anyone.  It wasn't just me though that he greeted this way.  Everyone was welcomed and loved in his presence.  He had a way about him that made people laugh, feel at ease and comfortable with who they were.

My Grandma was his queen and it was his joy to serve her every day of his life.  One of the last true gentlemen.  Even well into his Alzheimer's, he still always let Grandma walk in front of him, holding the doors open for her.    

Grandpa was not afraid of hard work and found enjoyment in even the most menial of tasks.  When he would visit us as kids, he would instantly go to spring cleaning our house, whistling and singing hymns while he worked. He owned a cleaning business for 30 years and took pride in every spot and window that he ever cleaned.  

Every morning Grandpa would rise at 5am and spend his hours before dawn talking with God.  My Grandpa loves Jesus and shows everyone he meets simply through who he is.  I've learned alot about what it means to love from him.

When I saw my Grandpa a year ago, I was prepared that he would not know who I was.  What I wasn't prepared for was that the man I loved so dearly would still be so recognizable.  I had expected to see someone I didn't know and instead I saw someone who I knew so well that had no idea who I was.  Alzheimers is a cruel disease.

I'm told now that he is in his last days.  Even in his last days, he is still gentle, loving and still has the occasional joke with the nurses.  Everyone adores him.  His memories are few now and most are of his early days on the farm, where he remembers driving a tractor, singing hymns while he worked.

Tonight, I will share this cake with my kids and I will tell them about their Great Grandpa.  I will tell them about a man who made people feel welcomed.  I will tell my son about a man that treated women with great respect and I will tell my daughter that she should expect nothing less.  I will tell them about a man who learned how to find joy in every job he ever did and I will tell them about a man who dedicated his life to the Lord. 

Seasons of Change

I sat quietly on the grass watching kids run around, shouting with whoops of laughter, enjoying every minute of their school lunch break.  Longingly I looked at two girls chasing each other, wishing I could join in.  It had been six months since we had moved and mum had said that I would make friends.  It just takes time she said while I sat there with tears running down my face. Couldn't they see my pain?  Didn't anyone like me? 

Recently my dear friend Jaimee moved down South and probably felt vulnerable like I did as a child on that playground.  Having 3 young kids and pregnant with uncertainty around even the day to day stuff like "What kindy to choose?", Jaimee's cousin Emily came to her rescue. Emily helped her feel welcome in a new place immediately by connecting her with people and helping her to find her place.  What a gift Emily must have been to Jaimee!  She saw Jaimees need and knew exactly what she needed to feel part of something.  

Fast forward a few months and Emily has now found herself in the same position as Jaimee. Suddenly she is the one who has to face the daunting task of starting a new life, knowing very few people.   Things like deciding on schools for children, doctors and even hairdressers can suddenly feel overwhelming.  Its in these times of change that having someone to connect with can make all of the difference.

Over the years I have found myself haunted by those same playground feelings of loneliness, isolation and rejection.  It's in these times that in my own humanness I push away the chance of relationships and find myself further isolated then before, with the risk of getting stuck in this place.  I am learning slowly that there are things that I lack that rob me of experiencing JOY in these new seasons of change.

Confidence - I consider myself a fairly confident person.  I am happy with my abilities and I am not afraid to try new things.  When it comes to relationships though, I immediately lose all confidence.  Upon meeting someone, my initial assumption is "They don't like me".  I only became aware that I even had this mindset a few years ago and it was one of those AHA moments. Slowly I am learning to see that I have value to offer those around me and I try to recognize those lies I tell myself. If I am not confident in who I am as a friend, then how on earth can I ever have meaningful relationships?  

Courage - With confidence comes courage.  So often I think to myself, "I should really call that person".  Instantly I become the Queen of excuses.  "Its Dinner Time, its a really bad time", "They may have people over, I would hate to interrupt that."  Deep down though, I am just chicken shit scared and that fear of rejection is at the core of my excuses.  Who cares if they are busy! That doesn't mean they don't like you!! How old am I?? 17?

Time - The number one thing that currently steals my ability to connect with others is TIME.  OR I should say the lack thereof.  I have never felt this to be more true especially as a working mum.  With the busyness of work, kids, house and sports my capacity to give to people is next to nothing (Did I forget to Mention my husband? YES, he fits in there too!)  Over the years a few of my closest friends have moved and the idea of investing time into new people seems exhausting.  It's not that I don't want to, I really do!  I just don't know how to fit it in or even where to start.

Sacrifice - With the battle of time, comes my battle to sacrifice.  To make time to invest in others sometimes requires me to make sacrifices.  Rather then sit on the couch after the kids are asleep, coma'd out, watching Nashville with a glass of  wine, I have to remind myself to sacrifice that time to get some Courage and reach out to others.  I'll admit that I am pretty useless at this.  Without sacrificing though, I will never find that time that I want to invest in those relationships that I desperately long for.

Perspective - My intuition often runs at a high. I am like  a radar that inspects everyone around me, looking for even the slightest of discomforts.  The problem with this has and always will be that my perspective on a situation can often be wrong. I make assumptions that someones discomfort obviously has to do with ME and  they must find me very annoying or uninteresting.  More often then not, their toddler has spilled a whole bottle of milk that morning and woke a dozen times in the night and they are just not having a good day.  My instinct has been to walk away from that person before they can reject me.  I am slowly coming to see that a bad  mood most often has nothing to do with ME and to give it time.

Understanding - Sometimes my intuition that someone is brushing me off or does not want to invest in a friendship with me is right but my understanding on the situation is completely wrong. Remember that little thing called TIME?  Sometimes understanding that a person does not have the capacity for me right now does not mean that I am not worthy of their friendship.  It just means that its just not the right time.  I can't tell you the amount of times I have felt rejected by this, but again I am learning it has nothing to do with ME. As woman we have so many demands placed on us.  A true friend understands those demands and removes their expectations.


I suspect that most woman at one time or another finds themselves in these new seasons of change, and struggle with intense feelings of loneliness.  Like Emily, to notice someone in that season and connect with them can be a little piece of joy for them.

As I look back in the times where I have been lonely I can see the blessings.  It was in one of these seasons that I got to know Joy.