Small Spaces

"This place is driving me crazy!" I fumed to my husband, wanting to pull my hair out.  Everywhere I looked there was stuff.  My two growing kids mixed with their years of toys and clothes suddenly closed in on me and our small three bedroom house felt too small. It was clear to us that we needed a bigger house so we did what most rational people would do  in this situation: We got a border.

Suddenly our house that fit four of us very snugly was housing six. (Did I mention there was only one bathroom and we happened to purchase a dog in the same weekend??)  At the time, I was nervous about having my cousin live with us.  My kids were pretty demanding after all and she was a young and free 23 year old - Goodness knows I vaguely remember those days and kids were the last thing I wanted to be around at that time of my life!  If you had told me that she would live with us for seven months and that no one would kill each other in that time I might not have believed you.  Instead, Jill brought to our house a sense of order and left us realising that space was not the problem - we were.

Having an outsider come into your family for an extended period of time can make you feel naked and suddenly aware of all the bad habits that you as a family have developed.  Because of this reason I think everyone should at one stage of life have someone come and live with them - it may help expose things for you.   In saying that, not everyone's live in house guests may be accommodating.  It is important the person is the right fit for your family.

For us, Jill was just that.  From the moment she arrived, she was a great help. My husband works long hours and Jill would often be that extra set of hands when I really needed it.  Not to mention she loves our kids and they adore her.  She was never annoyed by their many questions, their poor manners or their lack of boundaries.  She understood that that they are kids and she accepted them for who they are.  She would stay in the background as I would do my mother thing and only really step in when she could see I was desperate.  When she did step in, she didn't try to replace me or try to discipline my kids.  Never once did I feel as though she was looking at me like a crazy person when I would start to LOSE MY SHIT (because lets face it mums, you all know what I mean).

The other thing Jill brought to our house was order.  I will admit that I am not the most organised person.  In fact, that could be an understatement.  In the first few weeks she was here, Jill was putting laundry away for me and shouted out to me from the linen cupboard. "Lisa, I am confused about the organisation of your linens?"

"What's to be confused Jill? There is no organisation." I said laughing.  I am pretty sure I drove her insane.  I came home the next day to find my linen cupboard organised.  Amazingly, for the most part it remains that way!  Each night after dinner, Jill would quickly get up and help do the dishes.  Often my husband and I would let the dishes sit until right before bed (OR maybe until morning if we were really unmotivated).  Not wanting to take advantage of her good nature, we knew we had better get onto the dishes right away.

Over the seven months that Jill lived with us, I slowly began to observe that Jill had an ability to be aware of her surroundings and act on what a situation needed.  For myself, I am often oblivious to this and I began to realise that the disorder in my house was what made my house feel small - NOT the space.  Bit by bit I started to organise and rid the house of what it didn't need and I started to keep on top of our space.  The outcome, was a bigger house.  In my head, I now think to myself "What would Jill do?" Somehow this pulls me out of my creative daze and pulls me into the present - something I am terrible at.

More than anything, Jill brought with her company.  On the nights that my husband worked late we would bond over a glass of wine, watching Nashville or How to Get Away with Murder.  Having that extra person around, made the house feel a little bit warmer.  Now, Jill is gone and we all miss her terribly but we are grateful to her for what she brought to our family and love that we got the chance to get to know her a little bit better.